License 2769
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Helen Gallant, LCSW, BCD | |
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San Francisco Office |
San Mateo Office |
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Evening Appointments Available | |
Whom you choose for your therapist may be
one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make.
San Francisco Office - (415) 751-8030 • San Mateo Office - (650) 401-6887
Articles About Therapy
New York Times article 9/22/06
“Understanding and Empathy Aren’t Enough In Therapy”
by Richard A. Friedman, M.D. [abridged here]:
“What’s not to like about understanding and empathy? … There is one little problem with psychotherapy when it relies on empathy and understanding alone.… They often aren’t enough to get patients to change, let alone grow. Recently, I saw a 48 yr. old professional single man … who had been in therapy … for six years (for) chronic depression.… ‘I had a miserable childhood, … father (was) alcoholic who shouted all the time … mother (was) a nonpresence, brother … on drugs.’”
“I asked him about what he did during his days. He was unemployed and supported in part by the neglectful parents whom he railed against. As is typical of narcissistic patients, he viewed his 
environment as having failed him and felt he had not gotten the recognition in life that he deserved. ‘What do you hope to accomplish in therapy?’ I asked him. ‘I just want to feel better and get rid of this depression.’ ‘Tell me, how do you feel about your current therapist?’ ‘Oh, she’s terrific. Warm, understanding, always available. But I don’t feel like I’m any better.’…”
“After six years … this patient had little sense of his own role in his unhappiness.… I tried something a little more challenging: ‘I don’t get a sense from what you’ve told me that you feel responsible yourself to do anything to improve your life.’ … (He) sat bolt upright … crossed his arms and replied icily: ‘I’ve been working very hard all these years in therapy. You have no right to say that.…’ He had been working hard all right – to maintain his status as a victim … (This) was something he was loath to surrender.…”
“His therapist had never challenged his stance, … reinforced it with years of unquestioning empathy and understanding.… He had a difficult childhood, but so have lots of other people.… What he was lacking was any notion that he had any responsibility in shaping his life now. (He then said) ‘So now you know my story. What kind of treatment do you recommend? ‘… I told him that his central problem was not all these collected injuries but his view of himself as someone who was wronged and deserving of special treatment from the world. Nor did he have major depression that required medication; rather, he had chronic dissatisfaction. He’d had five years’ worth of empathy; it was time to grow up, call it a day and get back to (employment).”
“I suggested a brief course of therapy to last no more than six months, with one precondition. He would have to get a job, … to be able to cover his rent and decrease his dependence on his parents. He signed on.”
“We … live in a blame-addicted culture that is…reflected in everything from reality TV to bad psychotherapy.… It’s easier to whine about the past than take some responsibility to change one’s life …therapy can become a sterile ritual of self-reflection without responsibility to or action.”
“When I last saw (him), several months after he finished treatment, he was still working and financially independent. ‘I didn’t really like you at first,’ he said. ‘You weren’t nice, but I think you helped me.’”
